hell and heaven -with dog

A man and his dog
were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly
occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking
beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading
them.

After a while, at the top of a long hill, they came
to a high, white stonewall along one side of the road. It looked like fine
marble. It was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing
before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like
mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He
and the dog walked toward the gate, and as

He got closer, he
saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close
enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is
Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you
happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course,
sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my
friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler
asked.

I'm sorry, sir, but
we don't accept pets."

The man thought a
moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been
going with his dog.

After another long
walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading
through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no
fence.

As he approached the
gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse
me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure,
there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my
friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"There should
be a bowl by the pump."

They went through
the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl
beside it.

The traveler filled
the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full,
he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

What do you call
this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is
Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's
confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was
Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean
the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it
make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just
happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends
behind."